SONG VERSIONS

NOTES
info, etc.

LYRICS BY
Jeff Ward

MUSIC BY
1000 Homo DJ's

PERFORMERS

LYRICS (official)
Hey, hey, hey you! Hey you punk, yeah that's right, pull over 
now! Pull over now! Pull over now! I said pull it over! That's 
right! Let me see some ID. Let me see your license. What is 
this? What is this shit?! This says "expired". Alright, get the
fuck out of the car now.

What is that? Get a fucking hair... What is that fucking long hair? 
Get a haircut! Hey Joe, look at this guy! Can you see this? He's a 
fucking sissy. That's right. Alright, up against the car now! 
That's right, spread 'em! I said spread 'em! You punk. Look at you,
you fucking punk. What rights? You want to hear your rights?! Fuck 
your rights! Spread 'em! Hey, you want to spend the night in county,
huh? Huh?! What do you think you are? Huh? You think you're fucking
smart? Why I ought to...! Hey what is that, punk? What did you call
me? You call me pig? I'll fucking throw you down so fast...! Fuck 
you! You punk. Alright, fuck you!

Where did you get this fucking car anyways? What is this, a Dodge? 
Fucking '69 Dodge? You're driving... You got a license for this? You
got plates? Where's the plates on this thing? I'll bet you ain't got
any insurance. You're driving around with no insurance, aren't you? 
Hey Joe, look at this guy. Alright, hey, what do you... what's with 
your bitch? Get her out... You, bitch, get out of the car now, too!
Yeah, that's right. Spread 'em! Get a fucking haircut! You got a 
job? What kind of job? Get a real job, punk!

Alright, freeze! Stay right where you are, don't move a fucking inch!
Don't move a muscle! That's right, down, down on the floor! Get down.
On your tummy. Spread 'em! What is this? What do we got here? A 
package. You got a package. What is this doing? White package. Oh, I
see, yeah, you're a fucking drug addict. You're a fucking drug 
addict! Get a fucking job!

What's with your chick? She fucking... Oh, Jesus Christ, she's got an
earring in her nose! Joe, look at this chick! She's fucking sick. My 
God! I hope she don't fucking hang around with chicks... I don't want
my fucking daughter... Oh God, what a nightmare! Quit your fucking 
whining. I don't want to hear about it. Get in the back... Look, I 
don't want to hear about your fucking rights! You got one right, you 
got the right to get in the back seat of the car, now! You got it? 
What? What was that? I didn't hear that. I didn't fucking hear that! 
Look, that's it, you're going down now! That's it. And what's with 
that fucking earring? What are you, a fag? You some kind of fucking 
sissy, huh?! That's right, you're going down with me... and you too, 
ma'am. Let's go! I'm sorry, I don't want to hear about it. I don't 
want to hear your crying. You're with him. Don't give me this. Let's 
see the fucking shit in your pockets. Come on. You're coming with me 
now.

Hey look, I can make this real easy. I can just beat the shit 
out of you and drop you off somewhere and fuck the report. You 
know, I got three fucking pages of reports in triplicate, so 
fuck you! You give me any hard time, I'm going to fuck you up. 
You understand? You see this fucking gun right here? I'll drill 
you so full of holes you won't know what the fuck hit you!

My God, you're basically crying. Goddammit, she sounds like a 
fucking... blech. Oh, she's annoying! Oh my God she sounds like 
fucking... uh... what the hell is that... Joe, who is that bitch
that whines all the time? That, uh, Erma Bombeck or somebody?

Alright, open up the trunk! That's right. What's with the bat? 
What's with the bat in the back seat? What, do you play 
baseball? Oh, I see. Oh, you're a gangbanger. Let me see your 
fucking signs, let me see your colors. You got colors? I got 
colors. Right here. Fucking black and blue all over your face. 
What, are you representing? You want to throw down, punk, huh?

You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an 
attorney. If you don't have the money for an attorney, an attorney 
will be appointed for you. If you give up this right, then 
everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of 
law. Do you understand? Oh, fuck you, I don't care if you 
understand! Get in the fucking back seat, now! Spread 'em, punk! 
Punk, I ought to give you a haircut right now! Hey Joe, get me my 
fucking razor blade. I'm cutting this kid's hair now. Look at him.
He looks like a fucking asshole! He's a sissy. He's a fucking 
faggot! He drives a Dodge! Where are you from? Are you from the 
south side? Ohhh! Punk. You're a punk. I eat you for breakfast, 
you little fucking weasel. Look at his fucking mug on this picture
on his license. He looks so decrepit I can't believe it. He's got 
a face only a mother could hate.

Freeze, asshole! Freeze, you fucking son of a bitch! Look, hey, I'm
fucking too fat to be chasing you around. I'll fucking drill you 
full of holes, you punk! Quit your fucking running around. Hey 
look, I'm going to kill you now! Then I'll throw you out in the 
back seat, out in a back alley on the fucking south side and no one
will ever know what the fuck happened to you! In the river with 
you, you punk! That's right, you want to spend the night in county,
huh? Huh? You punk, huh? You got a job? Get a job!

Oh! What's this bag here? You got a bag of powder? Why don't you 
give me some and we'll forget about it. That's right. Yeah, alright,
so what. Yeah, well, yeah what am I, fucking God? I'm human too. 
You know, you fucking punks, you think we're all fucking the same. 
We're human! We got feelings! You treat us like shit, you treat us 
like fucking pigs. If it wasn't for us you little punks would be 
beaten up by some fucking Nazi somewhere.

(Oh, not those handcuffs. I want the fur-lined ones.)

Hey, you like my boots?